#OneWord 2019 – PUSH
“Less” has been the most powerful resolution I’ve made as a teacher, yet this year I was tempted to flip it on its head and resolve “More.” It’s not that I have finally narrowed my focus TOO far. It’s that in my quest to slow down I have lost momentum.
I’m not just talking about the blogging.
I’m talking about when it’s 10PM and my kids are in bed, and I pause and think about grading or planning or writing or even painting, I tend to talk myself into another episode of Outlander or another hour of mindless Insta-scrolling or, you know, sleep. I think of things I could do and then just don’t.
The good news is that I have trimmed down the work I make for myself to the point that I can afford to scroll or sleep without having to pull all-nighters before grades are due as in my younger days–and that despite having double the students. I got grades in three days early last quarter, in fact.
Honestly, I think I do deserve the extra snuggle time. But I also deserve inspiration, creative energy, and not just the second-hand kind from Instagram impressionists and Pinterest boards.
My goal in 2019 is to push back against the urge to curl up and nothing. Before I give in to the urge to just nestle in or veg out, I will push myself to do one thing I know I should do. I don’t mean I will force myself to trudge through things I hate. I’m talking about nudges to do something that I know will make me feel good, things that give me energy. Too long I have settled for conserving the fumes that I got used to running on instead of, you know, actually refilling my tank.
One of my first pushes was to actually start a bullet journal, to keep myself accountable, but also because it’s something that I have wanted for myself and gave up on before: my 2018 attempt is mostly a bunch of ripped out pages…much like 2019 already, truth be told. But I’ve pushed and have a few pages started, including a Tetris page, where I can acknowledge each push by placing a piece.
But this year is not about getting Tetris, about winning or even finishing anything.
Just giving myself a little push when I want to stop, enough to roll into the gas station and actually refill.
