09 February 2011

Dear E,

You made me miss lunch, and I want to thank you.

Every minute that you stayed after family today was more filling than my Easy Mac could ever be.  That you stayed at all, feeling how you felt, is a testament to your maturity and strength as a human being.  You spoke truths that got to the core of some of my own personal battles this year, and I finally thought that maybe those trials weren't for nothing. I was supposed to be staying and helping you work through some of your hurt, but you also made me take a good look at my pain and see it for what it was: temporary.

You asked the same questions I always ask and made me answer my own questions.  Why do we always have to be the bigger person, E?  Because we are capable where others aren't.  Why should we have to apologize when we're not sorry, or when our apologies might get thrown back in our faces?  Because we should be sorry that we let the uglier side of ourselves get the better of us--even if the third party deserved it. Why not act like a "B" when people seem to respect us more when we are?  We are not B's, E, and it takes too much energy to fake it, and the faking it just feeds the pain and keeps it going longer than it has to.  Are we allowed to let our real feelings show? Yes, E, show, but not stab, not bludgeon.

You were an amazing and loving girl when I met you just a few months ago, E. Some things have happened in between that made it hard for me to remember, and hard for you to hold onto. I knew you had to be in there, somewhere, E, and I'm glad that the real you took control and took responsibility for doing the right thing.

All in the space of a lunch hour.

You made your life better, your classmates' lives better, and my life better when you did that.

So thanks for making me miss lunch, and for being a genuine and brave human being.

Love,
Sra. S.

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